You Are Like a Drug, Complete With Side Effects
Some people go through your life and leave a mark that’s difficult to erase. Just like a drug, they make you feel extraordinary sensations, and you get hooked on them . Unaware of their effect, they alter your chemistry and cause you to completely lose control. But with feelings, just like with addictions, the pleasure tends to come with side effects.
The mind is lost in detailed fantasies while the body attempts to find solid ground to hold onto while it struggles not to fall. You argue silently with yourself to convince yourself that everything is the same as it was before. Your body wears the disguise of normalcy, trying to cover up the inner whirlwind that your eyes fail to hide.
An emotional hangover
Simply by appearing, they create a wave that disrupts still waters. But the tidal wave brings a hangover along with it, which gradually fades away as it slides back into the peaceful current.
“Because that’s how the ocean always goes: calm, wild, but never still.”
-Ángeles Mastretta-
Every action has an equal, opposite reaction. Intense, complex emotions affect the mind and the body, throwing them off balance and forcing you to take action to stabilize the things that have been disrupted by such feelings.
“For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. The statement means that in every interaction, there is a pair of forces acting on the two interacting objects.”
-Newton’s third law of motion-
After the chaos of the impact, you have to struggle to reposition everything that was moved out of order. Some earthquakes make even the most well-constructed buildings shake. But despite the tremors, the skyscraper still stands, as the top wobbles while the base holds strong.
I lost my reason, only to find it again
I leaned over the cliff so I could look down, but not fall. I was tied to reason, but with a tug it suddenly escaped through the window. Without warning, it left me there looking over the edge, the cord empty and the window still open.
“I put myself in the mouth of the wolf, but I didn’t want anything else.”
-Sara Búho-
I looked over the cliff again, and even though it continued to give me vertigo, I was aware that my feet were still on the ground. I closed the window so that nothing else could escape, and when I opened the door to leave, I was met with reason, which came back frightened.
Reason looked me in the eyes and asked, “do you want me to stay, or do you want me to leave?” I pretended that I knew the answer while it listened to me, pretending like my opinion really mattered.
You are the chaos in my organized world
You are a drug that comes with side effects. You are the substance that excites me, shakes me, and leaves me trembling for days. You are the blow that stuns me and clouds my judgment, putting me at the mercy of feelings that follow their own path.
Without even trying, you sneak through the bars of the cage, uninvited, to turn order into chaos. A blessed chaos that thrills and upsets me in a matter of seconds, reminding me of things I thought I had forgotten.
But the fun is in the chaos, in messing up everything that was perfectly placed, in not sticking to the plans and improvising from the heart.
However, the things that seduce you by night, that make you think of only them for just a moment, can be disorienting the next day. There are no drugs without side effects. Side effects that can only go away with time and proper care.