Whether you face your problems or resist them doesn’t just depend on circumstances. They’re rooted in a decision we make inside, sometimes unconsciously. Sometimes you unknowingly decide to resist, then other times you face your problems. They’re two options that will determine whether we succeed or fail.
The choice between resisting a hardship or confronting it is what will determine whether or not you succeed.
Resisting problems is emotionally exhausting
Resisting problems increases the likelihood that you’ll lose control. You’ll be much more likely to get carried away by the first thing you feel without trying to look at it calmly. Our emotions will take control and we’ll let them. But this kind of emotional freedom usually has a consequence: regretting what you’ve thoughtlessly done or said.
Without even noticing, you find yourself in the middle of pointless arguments and squabbles. And all they do is wear you out emotionally, sometimes even physically. In fact, once you see the situation from another perspective, you realize you’ve really made mountains out of mole hills.
Have you ever reacted impulsively to something? When this happens, it means you’ve let your protective instinct loose. But if you really think about it, you weren’t actually in danger. Sometimes your impulses come out just to defend your ego.
Resisting problems will make you lose control and make it harder for you to find a good solution.
Resisting things that happen to you and seeing them as a threat or an enemy instead of a challenge will make you intolerant and box you in. It will prevent you from thinking clearly. And it will leave your head spinning with regret.
But there’s another option — though it takes some practice. It may mean some real work, but it’s worth the trouble. So how do you stop resisting your problems and start to face your problems?
If you face your problems, you’ll grow
Resisting difficulties won’t make you stronger. You’ll really just waste energy. You let your most basic instincts take you away. This keeps you from processing the situation properly.
But when you face your problems, you grow and get stronger, more mature. You’ll be in better conditions to take on any difficulty that comes along much more effectively.
When hardship puts itself in your path, you’ll know how to stop and take a breath. This way you can see things more clearly and make the best choice. You know you can take your time.
After all, you don’t gain anything by reacting or responding right away! So rushing your response when the situation doesn’t call for it can be a mistake. A reason you’ll be pulling your hair out afterwards.
When you’re calm and relaxed, even if everything going on around you is total chaos, you’ll think more intelligently about things. When you stop to take a breath, the solution seems much closer.
Plus, if you face your problems, you’re less likely to unnecessarily hurt other people. When you express yourself clearly, warmly, and respectfully, your point of view will be clearer and your criticism of other people won’t be taken as personally.
Only people who have confronted their problems know their own strength.
As you can see, they are two very different things: one, giving in to the impulse to resist your problems and two, making the decision to face your problems.
With one you lose control, don’t process your emotions, and end up with regret eating you away inside. But with the other, you practice assertiveness, learn how to solve problems more effectively, and learn something from them.
Hardships always give you a very special opportunity: the opportunity to learn. They’re not a tragedy, and you’re not a victim. Thinking like that is what will make you resist them instead of confronting them. Let’s make them part of our story and live our lives better because of the lessons they taught us.