For Every Disappointment, There's Time and Shoes
There’s no bad thing that can’t be fixed with time and a good pair of shoes. Because disappointments and problems aren’t fixed just by waiting around in a black hole that sooner or later will end up collapsing.
You release pain by walking, turning the page and getting distance with the best shoes of them all: self-love.
William Gibson, well-known writer of science fiction, said that time moves in one direction, forward, but people are often chained to their memory and the past. Nothing new happens there, it’s all stillness and missed opportunities.
In a way, this is how we get trapped in our own webs after disappointment or a bad twist of fate. Our spirits, desire and strength fail us even though we keep getting up every day, even though we keep going through our days like robots with rusty hinges from our tears.
This is when some well-intentioned person always says, “don’t worry, time heals everything“.
However, it’s not as easy as it seems. Because people who are wounded do not advance. People who are imprisoned by rage, bitterness and resentment are locked in a parallel dimension where it it won’t matter if months or years go by.
Time by itself does not heal. What you do over time does have the power to heal.
The gods of time: Chronos, Kairos, and Aion
When a person is going through a tough time, whether it’s a loss or a crossroads that no one could be ready for, they almost always assume that just getting through the painful months will kill the pain and make things right again.
However, this formula does not always work, because it’s a mistake to think that the god of time will pass over and erase our sorrows out of the goodness of his heart.
Now, there is no god of time … there are three. Chronos is the most well-known. He represents external and uniform time, with its past and its future. It’s the one we can measure by observing the movement of the stars or the ticking of our clocks.
On the other hand, Aion symbolizes the duration of one’s life, a passing made up of several cycles.
However, the one that really interests us at the psychological level and when it comes to personal growth is the young god Kairos. He’s the one right in between the other two deities and represents opportunity.
Time and opportunity
He invites us to live in the here and now reminding us that each one of us is made with certain strengths and weaknesses, abilities and values, but while they may remain the same, we ourselves will never stay the same. Why? Because we are obliged to advance, to heal, to learn every day.
Let’s think of time in a more accurate, holistic and helpful way: Chronos and Kairos always go hand in hand. Time and opportunities for healing and growth happen periodically and we must learn how to take advantage of them.
Here’s an interesting example. There is a coral reef that extends along the coasts of Florida. Its only chance to continue growing and thus stop its extinction happens seven days after the full moon in August. That is when it begins to spawn, right at sunset. An unrepeatable magical moment, a moment where real opportunity is born.
My shoes will take me where my mind wants me
Like any time in life, we know that getting through tough stuff requires an active attitude, open eyes, and motivation to keep going and growing like those coral reefs that fight every year against the slope that pushes them to their own extinction.
If we want to leave fear and bitterness behind, it would help to know where our shoes are. Shoes with tough soles, where self-love, dignity and renewed dreams empower us to jump over any obstacle, cross bridges, climb mountains.
To conclude, make time your engine of change. Take advantage of every opportunity while your feet — your attitude and your smile — take you where you want to be. Where the most beautiful coral reefs grow.