In this house we make noise, say “I’m sorry,” give hugs and second chances. Because being a family means allowing the volume of life to surround us and tune the music of our daily scores. In a family there is respect and, above all, sensitivity for the needs of all of its members.
No household can be compared to any other. Each family’s structures are based on certain dynamics and unique communication codes. Although, these don’t always guarantee the happiness of all of the protagonists. It is something truly complex.
I have learned that before you can change the world, you have to get to know your own home first. Thus, in mine, we are all real. We make mistakes, and we forgive each other. Because we are imperfect, but we have fun. We hug, and we make a lot of noise.
We invite you to reflect upon this.
The elements that make up a household’s psychology
A house is a miniature universe. It is a reflection of society put under a microscope. What happens within these four walls and in this environment is an extremely powerful combination in which values, behaviors, and emotions impact each one of the members of the family in a specific way.
Now, experts in environmental psychology say that all environments are made up of three basic and essential elements. And we can also see these in any household.
- Material factors are the physical elements that give a home something that is very important, for example, Feng Shui. According to this aesthetic and philosophical approach, a harmonious spacial arrangement has a determined influence over people’s emotions.
- Personal aspects, on the other hand, are determined by the interrelations of the people that inhabit that space, their habits and their way of establishing bonds with each other.
- Mental factors are without a doubt the most relevant processes in family dynamics. This is where the paradigms, beliefs, values, personality styles and the very conditions that each of the family members establishes.
A house, therefore, is an enclosed space where all of its “tenants” unfold their invisible wings of influence in their particular nests. Here the most absolute well-being can reign. Or, on the other hand, the most complex unhappiness can take over. This depends of these mental processes.
For our part, we want to explain how the most dignified and enriching homes are built. Those full of their own music and in which, despite very high notes and also very low notes, the song always ends up sounding just as beautiful.
An emotionally wise home
According to an interesting study included in the book “Emotional Contagion“, by Elaine Hatfield, a house is not only the place where emotions are most contagious. Also, your emotional conscience is what allows you to grow as a family, nurturing needs, turning off fears and creating an exceptional harmony where no one is dispensable.
Now, we know that it is not easy to build a home. Because a house is not just four walls and a roof. A house is like a patchwork quilt, delicate, magical and handmade. Each piece of cloth is unique. And together, they create a wonderful figure.
Now let’s look at the characteristics which define homes that are emotionally wise.
Traits of an enriching family
An emotionally wise and enriching family knows, first of all, that the important thing is not to always be together. There are no conscious or subconscious pressures to control each member of the family so that they may occupy their place in the “nest”. In that asphyxiating bubble where growth and freedom are vetoed.
- In a wise house, it is not important to be together because the essential thing is to be close.
- An enriching family infects each other with positive emotions through glances that are payed attention to and understood. Viruses of blackmail or “all or nothing” don’t exist. There are no “because I said so’s” or “if you do that, you don’t love me’s”.
- Within an intelligent and happy house lives the light of open windows and empathetic hearts. Filled with voices that are accustomed to making noise, expressing themselves freely, with authenticity, without vetoes or fears.
- Differences are accepted within healthy homes. There are no sanctions for different points of view. Everyone has their personal space to grow with dignity. They also have common spaces where they can share that dignified and happy bond of a family that adores each other and likes spending time together.
A house is where our favorite people coexist. Those people we call family because they have known how to create a home from the heart, through the most pure and noble of affections. Because, at the end of the day, it is these people you keep laughing with every day, who alleviate your tears and who always make life worthwhile.