Hold on To Your Essence

Hold on To Your Essence
Raquel Aldana

Written and verified by the psychologist Raquel Aldana.

Last update: 21 February, 2022

Never let the essence of who you are be lost. Try not to lose yourself among other people. Only change, only transform yourself, if it is because of a good lesson that you have learned and accepted.

Your heart is beautiful as it is. Don’t let others take away from it or divide your life in any way. Love who you are on the inside and work to improve yourself everyday. Do this, but never consent to giving up the essence of who you are. If that disappears, you will just be another face in the crowd. If you lose your essence, you will be undistinguishable from a stranger to those who love you.

Remember that whatever makes you cry makes you just as special as whatever makes you laugh. Realizing this represents a certain freedom in itself. Protect your essence. Don’t let it be torn away from you; protect it from the cold.

child sitting on sand dune life

Sometimes the pain that causes humiliation is unbearable 

Nobody wants to have those by their side diminish or boycott their personal growth. Everyone wants to be surrounded by people who enhance life, who add positive experiences and good feelings.

However, usually, not everything is black and white. There will be moments in which someone will take away in some way from your wellbeing, but others in which they will give so positively to it that it makes up for it.

In life you must find the balance; it is yin and yang, sadness and happiness, night and day.  The right answers require wrong ones to exist. In this same way, someone who adds to your life would not have the same meaning if there had never been someone who takes away from it. This is what makes people what they are; sometimes black, sometimes white, but most of the time a mix of many colors.

child and cat on tightrope life

No one is completely good or completely bad 

Keeping in mind that no one can be all or nothing, you cannot leave your personal wellbeing unguarded. It must be protected against foreseeable and avoidable damage.

In order to do this, you should be aware of and practice emotional balance. On one side, put everything excessive and negative that is generated by others around you. On the other side, put everything that is good and positive that you have and could experience.

As obvious as it may be, it is important to always individually consider each person. Always keep in mind the physical and emotional situations of those around you, and the context of the situation you are in.

Naturally, creating and utilizing this balance is not easy. There are so many uncontrollable and completely subjective factors that have to be considered. So… why do we judge good and bad so lightly?

twins as butterflies life

“There is nothing better than meeting someone again and being able to forgive that person, whether or not they were right or wrong, because people, when they do harmful things, usually do them because in that moment, nothing better could be done, because they were afraid, or because of something from their past. So, forgiving is a wonderful thing.” 

-Marwan-

Be a just and fair person; never lose your essence 

Sometimes, being immersed in a deep pain can lead you do plunge off the cliff of prejudices and cliches. When this happens, you can be blinded by the pain of your wounds, and not by the kindness that would otherwise be a distinguishing characteristic.

Through forgiveness and understanding, we can give everyone the chance to be a positive influence, and even leave behind their negative actions or words. It is you who has the power validate others, and it is you who chooses how exactly you want to learn.

Being aware of the frequency with which you overly judge others, too, will really help you to eliminate pain and negativity from your life. Thinking about it this way, in the long run we will never regret being consistent and fair people. 

Don’t label or judge others. Forgive and take their negative actions as an opportunity to grow and learn. Your vital essence will be the best protection and it will always be within your reach.


This text is provided for informational purposes only and does not replace consultation with a professional. If in doubt, consult your specialist.